What a cake can do
by Stratosphere
Summary: Renji have been planing to take Seigaku out of his way, so he do some cakes... he would discover that his data can be wrong too. Everyone eats his cakes and mess is started. InuiKai pair, and other pairs too. Enjoy. LEMON
1. The cake and the Plan

Hi! Here is the other request of Shadowkaru15! Hope you'll enjoy it!

**Disclaimer**: Not mine…  
**Warning: Lemon!** Main pair: InuiKai… and of course other pairs too! Don't like don't read. If you want to leave reviews it's okay. If not, that's okay too.

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Renji's plan was sooo smart. He just happens to leave all his victims in their houses. His plan was the greatest thing ever! Seigaku was going to lost to Rikkaidai this tournament!

You would ask: What the hell is happening in here, and why this isn't talking about Seigaku pairs?! Well, Renji made something to them. You'll have to guess…

I'll leave you with Inui's and Renji's Data…

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**Inui's Data:**

_Tezuka-Fuji Pair:_

89.9 percent that they like each other. 67.3 percent Tezuka has already made the first move due to the team sake. 79.4 percent that Fuji is planning on doing something.

_Golden Pair:_

83.6 percent they both are too shy to make something. 98.2 percent that they would say it by mistake. 100 percent that they do love each other.

_Inui-Kaihdo Pair:_

87.5 percent Kaihdo likes me. 93.6 percent that if I do follow the same rhythm I'll make it to Kaihdo in some months. 65.7 percent he would like sex with me in the 5th date.

_Kawamura:_

100 percent he is straight. No data needed about this.

_Momoshiro-Echizen Pair:_

87.9 percent Echizen likes Momo. 97.4 percent Momo likes Echizen. 99.8 percent Momo wants to have sex with Echizen as soon as the boy allows him to. 45.9 percent that Echizen won't like to have sex with Momoshiro.

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**Renji's Data:**

_Tezuka-Fuji Pair:_

98.6 percent they are already in a relationship.87.6 percent they are having wild sex right now. And there is no need to do anything, still I'll do it.

_Golden Pair:_

78.9 percent they are already having sex and I don't really need to do anything to them, but it would be helpful and amusing to do so.

_Inui-Kaihdo Pair:_

100 percent I NEED to do something about them. 67.9 percent that the boy realizes his feelings for Sadaharu. 97.8 Sadaharu has been taking data abut his relationship with the boy and would suspect something at the beginning but would be lost in his own lost to think about it.

_Kawamura:_

100 percent that I really don't need to do anything.

_Momoshiro-Echizen Pair:_

76.2 percent they do have feelings for each other. 47.7 percent they have already do something about that. 87.3 percent Momoshiro wants to rape the boy when he looks at him in the lockers. 86.6 percent Echizen wants something more than just kisses.

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On every single home, a cake was leaved on the entry of each house of the regulars. Everyone got to taste the cake. And everyone would regret it the next day at practice, when they do things they didn't want to do due to their doubts.

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I know this was smart, butt I promise that this would indeed be good. I'll write different chapters for each regular.

I hope you would enjoy them, see you in two weeks or so!


	2. Echizen and Momo: a total Chaos

Hi! Here you go with the next chapter… I was reading weird things… don't expect this story to be the greatest hit ever…

**Disclaimer**: Not mine…  
**Warning: Lemon at the… all chapter, minus the first one…** Main pair: InuiKai… and of course other pairs too! Don't like don't read. If you want to leave reviews it's okay. If not, that's okay too.

After Echizen and Momo ate their cakes together at the street courts on Thursday, they got an oddd feeling on their stomach, but they didn't panic...

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_Next days at Seigaku…_

The regulars were gathered at the courts, it was the afternoon practice, so they were awfully tired, and Tezuka just has given to them 100 laps… he obviously wasn't in his best mood. Even Inui complained about it… but he shut up when Kaihdo took off his shirt, as well as Eiji, Echizen and Fuji… this was going to end in rape… I mean… in… I don't know… ¬¬

_Today is __an Echizen-Momo Pair Chapter… Enjoy… and it is Echizen's POV_

Today was a really hot day, since buchou wasn't in his better mood we all were half-dead panting hard on the ground, you want to know why does buchou isn't assigning us laps right now? Well, he was dragged by Fuji-senpai in the lockers, and no one dared to enter…

Kaihdo-senpai, Eiji-senpai, Fuji-senpai and I were without our shirts, damn all those laps! We were half-naked, and even if it felt better due to the hot day, we still felt a little awkward… scratch that, we'll felt awkward BUT Fuji-senpai… now that I come to think of him… some weird noises were coming from the lockers… okay, I don't want to know…

Suddenly I felt a burning glare in my back, when I turned to see what it was, I found Momo-senpai glaring at me with a strange gaze… full of lust, desire and hunger… wait! What the hell?! Well, what I'm complaining of? I do like him…Mmm I want to tease him… now, I understand Fuji-senpai, it must be funny to tease everyone around… show time.

"Momo-senpai" I said in a very seductive voice, "Aren't you hot?" I know the question has a different sense than the usual one, but seeing his eyes, I can say he'll catch the dirty one.

"What do you mean Echizen?!" Momo-senpai grew red, just like a tomato; this was way too amusing…

"You know what I mean" I paused, apparently to take a breath, "The day is way to hot to have all your uniform on or not being wet" Now I come to think of that… It is a good idea… I bent down to take my bottle of water, but instead of drinking, all the water travelled through my head and chest, its way to the floor. It felt sooo good, but it was even better his face, it was priceless. I chuckled under my breath.

"E-E-Echi-Echi-Echizen?!" It was better; he looked like a tomato all flushed.

"Yes, Momo-senpai?" I said as innocently as I could, this has always worked, even when I was near of the Golden Pair when they were sort of making out, and they never confessed because of me, they thought I was way too innocent or something… and so they didn't confess. I'm changing the subject, back to where I was…

"You shouldn't do that…" he said, his voice shaking…

"And why wouldn't I?" I asked, still innocently "It is not like I'm going to get raped or anything" I said it as casually and as careless as I could.

"Because… because you can catch a cold!" that was lame…

"You know I have never have caught a cold…" I said, seeming suspicious.

"But…" he didn't say anything for a while, that time I used it to look around, everyone was on their own conversation; I think Fuji-senpai is a bad influence; everyone seems to want to do the same as me. Except for Kawamura… he is straight after all, I guess…

"But what, Momo-senpai?" I was looking for the answer, but I got disappointed, he didn't replay, but headed off the courts. What the hell was this all about? "Momo-senpai!" I called, but he didn't come, he just dodged me, he hurried his pace and I lost track of him. After some chasing I found him at the fountains, he was IN the fountain… I grinned; he was getting water ON his pants, in other words he was HARD! This was hilarious.

"Oi, Momo-senpai, what on earth are you doing ON the fountain?" I asked, he started to panic, it seems like he was still hard. I wonder why he was hard in the first place, not that I cared but… I wanted to do it the next time…

"Because… like you said it is indeed a very hot day" okay he is getting even more lame…

"Yeah, but why are only your pants wet? Shouldn't your shirt have to be wet too?" I said, I was sooo going to get raped if I didn't stop.

"…" okay this is even worse…

Okay if he wasn't going to do something, I will, I want to have wild sex with him! Just as Fuji-senpai and Buchou! Okay that was a pretty disturbing view… _delete… delete… delete… _okay I'm better… but I still want to have wild sex! And if he isn't going to do the first move I will! I put myself into the fountain too. I made the water to run through my pants. And I could see how he was getting even more hard if it was possible.

"What on earth are YOU doing Echizen?!" he asked, panicking, and even more hard, Jeez it looked like the Big Ben.

"I'm proving how does this feels, and its quite good, but the travelling of the water through my underwear is a bit uncomfortable" I could see him, trying to control himself but I wasn't going to let him, I tried to move, but I 'apparently' was caught in the fountain due to something… I know, due to my ankle, he has to carry me around now… and I moaned, by the way…

"Are you okay Ryo-Echizen?" he looked a little concerned, but still, he had that gaze… I moaned again… he didn't let me to break him, and this was getting annoying…

"I think I twisted my ankle" I was very careful to make it seem like as if I was having pain.

"Okay, wait here, I'll go and get some help" he turned to the courts and disappeared behind a tree before I could say anything. I was disappointed, so I went to the nearest tree and climbed it, in some normal circumstances I would sleep right on the floor, but I didn't want him to found me, so I hide at the top of the tree, I was better taking a nap. Some minutes later I could hear Momo-senpai and Oishi-senpai calling me, but I didn't want to see them. Baka Momo. After some time that felt like hours Momo did found me.

"Oi, Echizen how did you manage to climb up there in you are injured?" he asked a lot more calm than before, by now I have given up.

"I so a cat and climbed to see if I got to see I, but out of nowhere a fairy came and told me to stay here to stop me from seeing you, why?" okay, I know that was rude, he was even more rude when he wanted… or when he didn't want to.

"Are you mad at me?" what a genius! I was willing to say it, but something stopped me. I simply jumped down and got onto the ground. I glared at him, and it was obvious that the answer was YES!

"No, I'm sexually frustrated, why?" well, it was half-true anyway…

"Why?" okay I'm just going to smack my racket right on his face!

"'Cause I made all kind of movements for this person to notice I liked him, but he was just too stupid to notice, and I just got tired of trying him to notice me that I'm sending all to the hell!" my words impacted right on his face like a girl slapping a pervert.

"Oh" great! I just confessed in some random way, and all he got to say is 'Oh' I'm really going to hit him!

"So, you are sexually frustrated… because of me?" okay, when did the men of caverns came back from death?

"No, I'm sexually frustrated about my racket, cat and also about Horio" I saw a person nose bleed and faint but I didn't mind (Horio was passing by, and he just heard Echizen's conversation. He got a nose bleed and fainted.) I turned away and started heading home, it took a while for Momo to catch up with me, but I wasn't in my best mood either. So I walked faster, and he did too. When we noticed we were in front of my house, and it was weekend. I didn't turn, and just entered my house, and so he did.

"What do you think you are doing?!" I shouted at the fact that he was gripping my waist, and that he was carrying me to my bedroom, how he did know where I slept anyway?

"I'm dragging my boyfriend to have wild sex, and get rid of this sexual frustration of both of us" I started to kick him, but it wouldn't work, I finally gave up and waited.

"How do you now where is my bedroom?" I asked instead of driving myself all crazy.

"I wanted to see you naked sometimes, so I climbed you tree and saw you…" I'm sure I'm a tomato right now… I didn't answer…

"Now we have to use our energy on something better…"

And so, we leaved for my bedroom and got four rounds of wild sex! Thankfully my parents weren't home as so did Nanako. They were all out for the weekend… and so, Takeshi stayed all weekend. At Monday I couldn't walk, neither run nor jump, and so Eiji, Kaihdo and Fuji couldn't. but I noticed that Buchou wasn't moving that much… Jeez… I hate my imagination…

* * *

_On the News…_

A boy at Seishun Gakuen Middle School was found half-dead due to a nose bleed, it seemed like the boy have been there for many hours and that have fainted. The causes are still not clear, since the boy can't remember why he fainted in the first place. We'll keep you in touch with this special case and the others… (It seemed like all prodigious schools have been suffering of nose bleeds attacks in the last few days… and the person that do remember, don't talk about it…)

And in some other news... people have caught glance of some sort of psycho that leaves cakes at the entry of certain houses... after that, people at that house got to school and starts to act randomly, and it is presumed that the first reason for the nose bleed attacks might be the cakes... be aware (even if it is too late...)


	3. Golden Pair: Insane and Random chapter

Hi! Here you go with the next chapter… I was still reading weird things…

**Disclaimer**: Not mine…  
**Warning: I don't know anymore which chapters would contain lemon, but at least one would, and it would be the main pair of the story to get it…** Main pair: InuiKai… I have already put some warnings at the first two chapters, if you end reading this, and want to kill, read the previous warnings and don't say anything…

* * *

_At the same day__ at Seigaku…_

You know how does it start, so, we are going to go to the main thing… this would end in rape indeed… and I'm going to end in a hospital for being sooo freakishly insane… maybe I would end as a guinea pig… well I'm getting out of the point… sorry… but it will be too short…

_Today is __the Golden Pair Chapter… Enjoy… and there is no special POV… Sorry…_

Eiji bounced his way to Oishi; he was shirtless, guess what does that caused the fukubuchou to do? He was nose bleeding! Yay! I know, what the hell is wrong with me? Well, the _good_thing was that Eiji was there to help him… jejeje

"Oishi Nya! What is wrong?!" Eiji tried to help his partner but… _unfortunately_they were struggling, Oishi, for Eiji not to see his… _little_problem awoken; Eiji to help his doubles partner and… by the way, to brush their bodies as hard as he could… that wasn't helping at all, and so, they ended on the ground, Oishi under Eiji… I'm so going to laugh at this…

Eiji noticed his doubles partner _little_, _**very**_, _**very**_ _**little **__**problem**_… he was having that sort of problems as well… what a coincidence. He smirked and an evil idea crossed his mind. He have to stop hanging around Fuji…

"Ne, Oishi are you _all right_?" he asked… Oishi blushed, since he caught the double meaning of those words, but his partner was so gullible, he didn't thought that Eiji maybe was doing it on purpose…and there is the problem, he _thought_…

"Hai, I'm all right Eiji, would you be so gentle to stand up or something? You are not allowing me to breath…" he tried to sound breathless, and he didn't need to pretend anyway…

"No Nya, you are going to let me see your _problem_, or else I will not stand up!" Eiji positioned himself; he was sooo near Oishi's problem… Oishi grew uncomfortable, his partner seemed to know of his problem but that couldn't be, or can it be? And to screw more all these situation, he caught other meaning of his partner's words… he have to stop being even near of Fuji…

"Eiji…" for Oishi's relief and Eiji's annoy, Momo came to them, not even noticing the estrange position they had. He said that Echizen had twisted his ankle, and so Oishi left, not even caring of his partner…

* * *

When Oishi came back (with his little problem under control) he didn't found his partner. He seeks everywhere, but nothing. He wondered why Eiji disappeared, that wasn't like him. He sighed and started leading home. When he was at a park, he heard someone crying. He headed to the place he heard the sounds. There was Eiji, sobbing, with wide red eyes, and he felt pain.

"Eiji?" he asked, aware that the neko instantly got up and tried to run away (just like a girl…) he reacted fairly soon, and took Eiji's wrist. The boy didn't struggle, but didn't see him at his eyes nor his face. "What is wrong?" he instantly knew that, something had happened to the boy, since he struggle this time.

"Nothing…" Eiji sobbed. Oishi hugged the boy, not even caring of how Eiji would react. Eiji tensed, but soon, he was relaxed in his partner's hug. Oishi sat down on the ground, with Eiji in his lap.

"Tell me Eiji, why are you crying?" Oishi shivered when Eiji bit his lips, he wanted to do that... but not only there…

"You" was the only response he got. But he understood and felt horrible.

"What did I did to you?" he asked.

"…" then Oishi recalled all that had happened that afternoon, and the strange glint in Eiji's eyes, so that was why he felt that the boy was provoking him.

"Were you trying to get raped by me?" wow, that didn't sound like him at all…

"…" okay, did Eiji bit his tongue or something? That's right I'm getting lazy in here…

"If you want to be raped, you'll be raped…" and they had sex all afternoon behind the bushes… no, really, they did confessed after all the sex thing, but it was kind of obvious that they loved each other, wasn't it? The thing is that, they were happy ever after, well, they didn't find their underwear, but that'0s other story…

* * *

_On the news, in other channel…_

We have been told that some random girls were giggling behind some bushes at the park… they sort of were stilling the underwear of two boys. The boys were spotted to be doing some dirty things that you don't want to know anyway, but since I have been informed, and been traumatised, I'll be glad to traumatize you as well… so here are some images…

And so some images disturbed many people all over Japan. Anyone would be same person… I'm disturbed as well…

And we can see some girls giggling and running away with a boxer with kitties, and other with a face stamped in the front part of the boxer, it seemed like a boy-like-cat but no one is sure about it…

TBC…


	4. Kawamura: AHHH THE DONUTS!

Hi! I'm lazy today…

**Disclaimer**: Not mine at all…  
**Warning: **Main pair: InuiKai… the same thing as ever… and this is the insanity in… person?

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_At __Seigaku…_

I'm bored so… just imagine all the things that had happened and add this one…

* * *

_Today is __Kawamura's special…_

Kawamura saw all his team mates spreading, and so, he went home. The end. Just kidding. He went home indeed but his house was deserted, his father was doing some business with a friend that had a hotel… and so…

The thing is that he was home alone. But he isn't that innocent, nor calm, or normal either, not that you didn't know, but why was he bipolar?

I know… this story begins when…

Okay, this is weird. He was looking at some photos and he recalled that incident…

HE IS A MARTIAN FOR GOD'S SAKE! No really, the real Kawamura was in Pluto, being tortured by his Martian parents. Because in here they are all gays! (I don't know why I write the gay thing…) And I say he is a Martian! And he isn't gay 'cause he have to live some more years in here, but he shall end eating his partner, even if it is a girl, a racket (the racket is his wife) an animal or a boy! And so, he found his beloved partner, the RACKET! Okay I need a psychologist… not that I haven't seen some, but they say they are your friends, and they aren't… okay back to the story… he was a Martian that was taking the place of the boy that was in Pluto… the boy was being raped by many Akutsus… yeah, Akutsu is from other planet too…

Then he noticed the donut. It seems like his parents were taking a visit. Some little persons came out of the donut; they were here to take control of Earth. If you eat some donut, any donut, the little persons are going to enter your body and eat your brain until you are brainless! (Now, we do know what happened to Gakuto…) he stared at his parents. And so the world ended due to donuts invasion. The end.

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_On the news…_

It was reported by many people that they saw flying donuts. The causes of this haven't been… AHHHHHHH A FLYING DONUT! WE ARE ALL GONNA **DIE!**

The transmission has been…. AHHH A DONUT!

And so that was a normal day

The cake that Yagyuu made only incited the martians to take control of Earth, blame Yagyuu...

* * *

If you want to kill me, throw the tomatoes, rocks or vegetables at the end of the fic… when Inui and Kaihdo are caught having sex….

The donut was a thing of mine… I was bored in Social for God's sake! You can't blame me, we were studying the industrialization… I kind of went even more insane than Gakuto… if you know Spanish this would explain how bored I was, if you don't know Spanish, you are fucked.

I made a draw, and wrote, what is this? And my friend said it is a ballena and I said no it is a va vacia…

English: it is a whale, and I said no. but in Spanish a whale would be sounding like if you said (in Spanish of course) that it goes full, and I said that no, it was empty… I know, it is lame, but my brain was dying because we were at the hottest class in the world…

TBC… THE DONUTS!


	5. Fuji and Tezuka: Not so a Good Idea

Hi…

**Disclaimer**: What do you think?  
**Warning: **Main pair: InuiKai… the same thing as ever…

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_At __Seigaku…_

Bla bla bla. Just skip this!

* * *

_Fuji and Tezuka Pair! And it is in Fuji's POV!_

I spotted that everyone was nearly dying because of Kuni… Hmph, he has said to me not to call him that… oh well. I decided that I needed to stop Kuni from killing everyone, and so I grabbed him to the lockers… fun is about to start…

Outside I can hear how my partners are going home, well; Echizen was mumbling something about weird sounds… I think I shouldn't grab Kuni by his hips… then there was Eiji, he was trying to seduce Oishi or something like that… he has to stop hanging around me that much… and there was Taka-san. Well, he doesn't know that I know that he is a Martian… I know, I'm supposed to be telling everyone... but it just funny to see everyone freak out at his sudden fire!

Well, back to the locker…

_In Monday Practice…_

I couldn't even go to the bathroom! God! Kuni really was wild and sexually frustrated… well, he isn't any better… he can even stand… well, he can, but he would day if he run, jump, not even walk! Hmph the weekend was sooo great!

* * *

And there it ended… I'm being lazy, so what?!

* * *

_On the News…_

The lockers of Seishun Gakuen have been closed due strange liquid hanging all over the place…

In the same spot, a boy was found half dead, near the school some random girls were giggling and running with some strange underwear and at last everyone in the city have been reporting flying donut… that's all I know and want to know, and so I may be fired to say this but…

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS TO EVERYONE!! And the reporter went running to the door… er, the wall, he is unconscious now…


	6. Inui and Kaihdo: Lemon

Hi… there

**Disclaimer**: Do I even have to say something?  
**Warning: **Main pair: InuiKai… the same thing as ever… finally this chapter and I'm done!

* * *

_At __Seigaku…_

It was a hot day, Tezuka didn't help at all, but Fuji did… we gotta skip this….

_Finally Inui and Kaihdo Pair!_

When everyone spread to go home, Inui went besides Kaihdo, for their training. They always train together, you gotta know that…

Well, the thing is, they went to the river… in the way, they found many interesting things, well, they were sounds… the first one was with Momo and Echizen. The boy was practically yelling that he was sexually frustrated, and Momo didn't catch that… but they were sure they were happy now, in the house of Echizen…

After that, the Golden Pair… Eiji practically was raping Oishi in the school! But Oishi was even denser than Momo! At the end, they found them behind some bushes… and some girls stealing their clothes…

After that, Inui noticed that he left his notebook in the bench of the lockers, but he didn't want to go achievement in his house… back and get it. Tezuka and Fuji most be really busy right now…

At the end, they got in the river half an hour after they normally did… but Inui collected such a good data… the thing is they were mastering Kaihdo's boomerang snake, since his match with Fudomine, he was as stubborn as a donkey to master that move… after many failed hits Kaihdo made it. And since Inui was such a good senpai, that didn't want to take advantage of his kouhai in his house when there was no one, he took Kaihdo to celebrate their

_In the bed… I mean, house…_

"Oi, Kaihdo do you want something?" Inui asked, his glasses glinting evilly.

"No thanks Inui-senpai" he said… hissed.

_After some time because the author is being lazy as ever…._

Kaihdo was under Inui, kissing… and touching. Inui started taking off Kaihdo's shirt, while Kaihdo kissed his neck. When Kaihdo was already shirtless, Inui kissed and liked the erect nipples, gaining moans from his lover.

Inui was already shirtless, so Kaihdo went to Inui's pants, first rushing his hand with the erect member, and after gaining some groans and moans, he started taking off Inui's pants. When there was no other thing that stopped him from giving Inui a hand job… his took Inui's member in his hand pumping it slowly and painfully. He liked Inui's length, when he reached the top, he liked it two times, before taking the whole member in his mouth.

Inui moaned loudly, that warm mouth around his hard on, was driving him insane!

Kaihdo pumped Inui, this time faster and harder. Inui came in Kaihdo's mouth, he swallowed his essence. Inui flipped their positions (Inui was under Kaihdo when he came…) he grabbed Kaihdo's cock and without much teasing hi bit his cock. Kaihdo moaned.

"Sadaharu…"

Inui liked Kaihdo's cock, pumping it with his hand, and biting him. Kaihdo came even faster than Inui.

"Do… you… want… to… really… fuck… me?" Kaihdo asked, panting hard.

"If… you aren't… ready… I will…. Not…. Push you…" Inui said, then he hugged Kaihdo, they stayed like that for a while. Then, Inui covered their naked bodies, and they fell asleep.

They wake up each two ours, and stayed like that for like 30 min. having other round of sex… they got like… six rounds of wild sex!

At the other day, Eiji, Ryoma, Kaihdo, Inui, Fuji and Tezuka, weren't able to run, nor jump, or walk many time either… I wonder why.

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The End!


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